Dark Shadow on my soul

In recent time I have struggled with an unhappy feeling. Something that I am not sure I have ever experience before. In no shape or form should I be unhappy but I could not shake the feeling. I continued to press on because life stops for no one and there was much that needed to be done. 

Continued smiling because there was no reason not to. I had my health, beautiful children, and lovely husband while living in an amazing place. I reminded myself of all that I had to be grateful for in my life. 

Maybe I am weak or combination of lack of sleep, spiritual life, and my little life demands got the best of me. Whatever the case I knew its not how I wanted to continue...

I told my husband how I felt. He showed how he cared and loved me the best way he knew how but I needed something more. 

The moment that changed my heart came very unexpected. I wanted to renew our vows but I didn't know it would break my heart. 

I asked my husband to renew our vows as we had done during our 2 year anniversary and 5th year anniversary. Something kept tugging me back thinking I shouldn't press him to do but I felt like it needed to be done. I arranged for it all and only one friend would be present. It wasn't about making it a big deal but just have this moment together again and God's blessing on us. 

GOD'S BLESSING was upon us. As soon as the priest started talking my heart began to break. I cried throughout the whole renewal. My heart broke into a million pieces because it was not just our renewal of love to each other but realizing that it was also God's love pouring upon us and our children. Jesus became our strength again and centered around Him.  

He casted away the shadow on my soul and brought me back to the light. I cherish this moment because Jesus called me back to Him through my love for my husband and our marriage. 

I am sure that there might be dark days ahead in my journey of life but as long as I keep my eyes toward the heavens and know that the Lord is my strength everything will be alright. 

It is a testimony to power of God's love for us. That He is already committed to us and when we choose Him again our love for others can grow so much more through His Love.