10:00 PM I am able to finally fall asleep after thinking of all the things I didn't get done and the things I need to do tomorrow...
12:30 AM First time to nurse.
1:15 AM Back in bed.
2:20 AM I hear baby again. Do I get up or let him cry? Fine. I will get up he sounds soooo sad and it pulls on my heart strings.
2:45AM Back to bed.
4:00 AM I hear baby again. Man, he sounds awake. I go to check on him and yes he pooped in his diaper.
But I am super excited since it has been a week since the last poop filled diaper plus he needs a bath anyway...
5:00 AM So it is now bath time. By the time we are done with that and nursing him again he is wide awake.
If he is going to be awake and I am going to be awake might as well run 5 miles right?
6:15 AM He is ready to fall back to sleep.
7:00 AM I get to shower but no time for rest because my 3 and 6 year old is up demanding breakfast.
ITS ABOUT TO GET REAL...
The day will continue with or without me getting sleep. My children will still need me to care for them. Homeschool will still need to be taught. Dishes and laundry will still need to be washed.
No it will not be easy. But as a mother I have a drive and an extra tank of gas given to me by the grace of God to embrace sleepless nights and the day to follow. I choose to be patient and kind even when I can't hardly keep my eyes open. I am amazed on how God has given mothers the ability to work through years of restless nights. I can't remember one night in the past 6 years that I haven't been woken up to nurse, potty breaks, dreams, or water breaks. I wouldn't change it for anything.
On these days I'll give myself an extra cup of cocoa and let my kids stay in their pjs all day. Maybe we will just have snacks for dinner but in the end it truly is God that gives me the strength to say in my sleep deprived state...
You help me to be patient.
You help me to be kind.
You help me to reflect an image of You.
You help me to be the best mother I can be.
And I thank you for that gift.
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